If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Randomize