You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
