I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
