so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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