I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
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