the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
