He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
