My first STD was from a foam party
barbara walters just said penis...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
