I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
