we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
