So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
