I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
