i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize