I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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