I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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