Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize