you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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