I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
