Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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