I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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