I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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