please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
