I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize