I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
