He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
