Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
