so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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