FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
