Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
what day is it and did you see me today?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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