He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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