Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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