apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
