I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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