...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
