It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
