So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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