You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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