Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
cat food counts as protein by the way
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
