i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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