apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
