Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
