i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
