I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
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