she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
