So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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