he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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