my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
