And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
