"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
