Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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