oh god the rape fog is back!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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