Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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