Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize