I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
