Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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