It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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