Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
