I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize