so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
