Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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