Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
