how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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