I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize