I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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