SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Come back. Shots need mouths.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
