is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
