I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
