you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize