How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
