Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize